Many moms may agree that getting a full night of sleep can feel like a distant memory once you become a parent. Your sleep is disrupted at just about every phase of the child’s life, especially during the early stages. When your little one is an infant, you likely have to wake up at odd hours to meet their feeding needs. Once they finally start sleeping through the night, you may find yourself getting up early to do the school run.
You may also find yourself staying up past your bedtime on some nights to prepare for the next day, hoping it will ease your mental load. Some nights, you’re up late because you want a few hours of quiet time to rub your feet and scroll social media in peace before the chaos begins again the next day.
Whatever the culprit is for disrupting your sleep, not getting enough shut-eye can trigger a host of issues such as irritability, anxiety, moodiness, weight fluctuations, and a weakened immune system, among others. That said, getting around eight hours of sleep postpartum isn’t an elusive goal. It’s possible to reclaim your rest, and we’re here to help you get started with these smart sleep solutions. Before we jump into sleep solutions, however, it’s important to note that while both sleep and rest are important, they aren’t the same thing, according to LaShasta Bell, a sleep and mental health expert in Houston, Texas. She says sleep is a very unconscious process, while rest is more conscious.
“Resting is literally about moving yourself into a space that is not in a way that it’s not consuming you with your regular thoughts,” Bell explains. “But sleep is a very biological process where lots of things take place, like [the] reconciling of emotions and memories of the day, the learnings of the day. The hippocampus is doing its job, the muscles and tissues are doing their job, and that’s the reason that seven to nine hours is required,” she adds.
Plan For Sleep From The Moment You Wake Up
A good night’s sleep is something that you should be planning for long before bedtime. Bell suggests that we consider this as soon as our eyes open in the morning and ask what type of morning we need to get the best night’s sleep.
“I believe we should be cultivating our sleep from the moment we wake up. Which means everything you do, you say, the people you put yourself around should all contribute to a good night’s sleep, not disrupt our sleep,” she says.
Some examples the sleep expert provides include not picking up certain calls or addressing certain problems at various times of the day. For example, if you aim to go to sleep at 10:00 pm, answering a call from someone who is likely to have an emotional outburst at 9:00 pm could disrupt your sleep. That example is also a reminder about the importance of setting boundaries around your sleep and fiercely protecting it. That could mean setting your phone to Do Not Disturb (DND), charging it in a different room, or turning it off altogether if you’re comfortable doing so.
Keeping your nervous system regulated throughout the day by taking a few minutes to do deep breathing, eating healthy foods, and expressing gratitude can also contribute to you feeling calm and rested before bedtime.
Adopt A Simple Bedtime Routine
Moms have enough on their plates; often, they are overflowing. Complicating or making your bedtime routine unsustainable can make it difficult to stick to. Develop a bedtime routine that fits your lifestyle, personality, and needs. If making tea, playing meditation music, taking a hot bath, and journaling before bed seem too taxing, consider choosing one thing and sticking with it, rather than trying to do multiple things at once. Sleep is a personal affair, not a social media trend, so it’s important it’s personalized in a way that serves you.
Reclaim Your Time During The Day
Revenge bedtime procrastination, when people sacrifice sleep for personal time, is something moms may be susceptible to. This can look like risking being a zombie in the morning for a few hours of peace and quiet at night. It may seem like a good idea at the moment, but sleep deprivation could shorten your lifespan over time. To avoid sacrificing sleep for quality time with yourself, steal some moments during the day.
“Part of what has to happen with that ‘I got to reclaim my time’ is a mindset shift of you’re not giving all of your time away to the kids all day,” Bell says.
She advises resting when you can throughout the day and doing some of the things you enjoy so you don’t feel the need to do it all at bedtime. Remember, these moments don’t have to last hours. It could be replaying your favorite song, taking a short walk, or napping for 20 minutes if you work from home.
Take Effective Naps
The perfect sleep schedule isn’t a reality, but we can be intentional about getting quality sleep wherever we can. One way to do this is by taking effective naps on days when you couldn’t get your full eight hours.
Bell recommends taking either a 30-minute or 90-minute nap, but not waking up in between those times.
“If you wake up in between that time, you haven’t completed a stage of sleep. So it could be counterproductive where you end up more groggy,” she explains. Bell also advocates for 10-15-minute naps if you just need an energy booster. However, if you’re trying to make up for a sleep deficit, snuggle up and make it 90 minutes.
Mind Your Business
Moms often have a superwoman complex, which can lead them to trying to put out fires that they didn’t start. This may not seem related to our sleep, but it can be, explains Bell. “I feel like for women, especially moms, we don’t mind our business enough,” Bell says.
The certified sleep science coach advises women to ask themselves two questions: whether it’s their problem to solve and whether they’ve been asked to solve that problem.
“If we ask ourselves those two questions, we’ll get back enough time in our day to add to the sleep at night,” says Bell.
It’s possible that inundating yourself with other people’s problems can lead to emotional restlessness before bed, especially when you’re worrying, anxious, or in problem-solving mode. Remind yourself that other people are capable of solving their own problems, and be honest about your capacity to help.
